but in the fallout they're all heros of one nature or another. ( clem doesn't think she is, does it count if she did it all for her own redemption? ) and so there are black tie balls where they're supposed to schmooze and at the end of it there's donations and shit to some good cause. clem didn't want to go, would rather skulk around the helicarrier licking her wounds, but fury snaps and nathan has a dress that matches his tuxedo and she doesn't get to opt out. she and nathan look lethal, like a matched set of knives in black and silver and red, but nathan's slipped into the crowd ( nathan's always been better at this ) and clem's on her own.
antonia stark buys her whiskey. and it's good whiskey, so clem doesn't throw it back and walk off in the opposite direction. ]
That line work on all the socialites?
[ she leans back, two elbows on the bar and ice rattling in her glass. whiskey burns, burns, burns and it's a nice place to be, straddling the razor edge line of sobriety and drunk ( compromised ) and clem spent two weeks inside a bottle before nathan dragged her out and hosed her off, but tony doesn't need to know that.
You'd be surprised, [ is her answer, easy from the hot-rod red bow of her lips. Tony's used to this, has been since she was seventeen and turned up to most of these as drunk as Clem looks; these days it's no different, neckline just as bare, the curve of her arc reactor snug againt the dip of her dress with no back.
In another life, Tony has a better way to spend these nights. Show up for ten minutes, leave after fifteen; the rest of it's spent dizzyingly in love, not staring down the neck of a bottle. But there's a reason she's at Clem's side, back against the bar and her elbows resting on the top, knocking back her whiskey like her life depends on it. As it turns out, Virginia 'Pepper' Potts doesn't like girls, not that way. It doesn't mean Tony loves her any less. ]
Y'know, [ she says slowly, eyes trailing across the room then finally down at Clem. ] Tell me why Mr Romanoff over there isn't fingerfucking the sad out of you right now.
[ there's not a lot to recommend antonia stark, but the elegant was she cuts to the heart of the matter in the bluntest way possible might be one of them. clem was considerably more fond of that when it wasn't being used on her. ]
We're not like that.
[ it's next to impossible to sound blase about it. clem might have had better chances sober, but not really. isn't that what everyone thinks about them, the widowmaker and the hawk, doesn't everyone think--?
clem thinks of waking up and how close he'd sat and the murmured confession of compromised and how neither of them knew how to take that step. they're not built for relationships, even if everything in clem wants.
but nathan pulled away and maybe he'll circle around to her, maybe he won't. it's hard to call. but tony puts her neatly manicured finger on the heart of that, on the question clem doesn't want to ask. and instead of look at tony her eyes find nathan and the fake, fake smile he wears when he wants to charm people and drains the last of the whiskey from her glass. ]
Another.
[ she doesn't throw it on the ground, but it's a near thing. thor gets away with it, why can't she? ]
[ Tony hums but stays, strangely enough, relatively quiet on the subject. Instead, she obliges; knocks back the rest of her own drink and puts up two fingers to signal the bartender. Her eyes settle back on Clem, though, something thoughtful in the set of her brow and that means the conversation isn't over, not by a long shot. ]
But you could be. [ 'Could' is a peculiar turn of phrase but it's the way Tony says it, laced with the possibility that everyone sees but none of them acts on. (Tony Stark likes making people uncomfortable, doesn't see a problem with it: she likes it even better when it doesn't work. Clem, well — maybe being brainwashed gives you a temporary pass.)
Then a beat later and she laughs, head tilted back. ] Or does he not like girls?
[ there's real potentail in taking her drink and walking away. or throwing it in tony's face. clem's read the file. she wouldn't be the first woman to do it, or the last. but she'd rather drink her whiskey than waste it. ]
What is this, girl talk?
[ her voice is the kind of flat that's more tired than anything else. tired of watching nathan romanoff and feeling an ache under her skin. tired of being here in a dress that makes her feel bound up, stifled. tired of the bobby pins holding her hair up and stabbing her scalp. what she wants is to slide up alongside nathan and say, let's get out of here, but it doesn't feel right.
maybe it will in time, but right now it does, so she's left with tony fucking stark at the bar. what a night. ]
I'm not the type for girl talk, Stark. Didn't you pick that up?
It can be, [ she says, even though it's obvious that it's not. Tony shrugs it off instead, rolls the rim of the glass against her lips without ever taking a sip, tiny red smears left along in their wake. ] He probably knows you love him already, the little shit.
[ But it's careless — why shouldn't it be? Sure, she's got blueprints for floors and an interesting idea fizzing through her veins when it comes to the word team, but she knows Barton less and next to nothing about Nathan, even with his short stint at her side.
Tony finally glances up from Clem to the crowd, glancing over girls in red and a spy and their illustrious captain. ]
[ deflection is a thing. clem should put more effort into it, but maybe she's gotten complacent. people at s.h.i.e.l.d. give her a wide berth these days, and it doesn't take much to shut them up. a glare, a tightening of her jaw, it'll all get the job done. tony isn't exactly a s.h.i.e.l.d. suit though. ]
Love's for children. [ nathan's words in clem's mouth. they don't fit. they don't sound right. clem knows how limited she is, but clem's the sort for big, sweeping loves, the kind of love that destroys worlds. she's so human it's painful at times.
it's inconvenient as fuck in this situation.
but that falls by the wayside because then tony-- ]
You want a medal for that observation?
[ it's not something she admits, but it's the truth. clem's broken somewhere deep down but she's so furious for tony dragging it up. the arch of her eyebrow says, get to the point. ]
[ Clem doesn't have to say the words for Tony to get to the point. She drains the rest of her glass, ice clinking against glass the same way her nails catch on metal.
Love's for children. Sounds like bullshit, but Tony can get the appeal. There's nothing fully human about Nathan Romanoff, anyway, and Tony's not even going to bother pretending to understand any of— that. S.H.I.E.L.D makes her antsy in more ways than one. ]
He doesn't make things easy, huh, [ she says, because hell if she's going to leave something like that alone. She can recognize when something is parroted — she's done enough lying out of her own mouth, other people's words on her tongue. ]
[ the grim smile on clem's face says, no, he doesn't, but that's what she signed up for. ( not really, but who's keeping track? ) clem's slid into things more or less, joined the avengers by accident because sure as hell wasn't her name in those files. but here she is and here they are and there's nathan across the room and-- ]
Fuck it.
[ self-destructive, impulsive behavior, that's what coulson would call it, but coulson's dead and she won't be calling anyone anything anymore. so clem downs the last of the whiskey in one gulp. ]
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w/e w/e i do what i want.
but in the fallout they're all heros of one nature or another. ( clem doesn't think she is, does it count if she did it all for her own redemption? ) and so there are black tie balls where they're supposed to schmooze and at the end of it there's donations and shit to some good cause. clem didn't want to go, would rather skulk around the helicarrier licking her wounds, but fury snaps and nathan has a dress that matches his tuxedo and she doesn't get to opt out. she and nathan look lethal, like a matched set of knives in black and silver and red, but nathan's slipped into the crowd ( nathan's always been better at this ) and clem's on her own.
antonia stark buys her whiskey. and it's good whiskey, so clem doesn't throw it back and walk off in the opposite direction. ]
That line work on all the socialites?
[ she leans back, two elbows on the bar and ice rattling in her glass. whiskey burns, burns, burns and it's a nice place to be, straddling the razor edge line of sobriety and drunk ( compromised ) and clem spent two weeks inside a bottle before nathan dragged her out and hosed her off, but tony doesn't need to know that.
but tonight isn't the night to crawl back in. ]
LJGHALJShlasjdhlsjdhsda.
In another life, Tony has a better way to spend these nights. Show up for ten minutes, leave after fifteen; the rest of it's spent dizzyingly in love, not staring down the neck of a bottle. But there's a reason she's at Clem's side, back against the bar and her elbows resting on the top, knocking back her whiskey like her life depends on it. As it turns out, Virginia 'Pepper' Potts doesn't like girls, not that way. It doesn't mean Tony loves her any less. ]
Y'know, [ she says slowly, eyes trailing across the room then finally down at Clem. ] Tell me why Mr Romanoff over there isn't fingerfucking the sad out of you right now.
I'M SORRY DID YOU NOT ORDER ALL THE HORRORS.
We're not like that.
[ it's next to impossible to sound blase about it. clem might have had better chances sober, but not really. isn't that what everyone thinks about them, the widowmaker and the hawk, doesn't everyone think--?
clem thinks of waking up and how close he'd sat and the murmured confession of compromised and how neither of them knew how to take that step. they're not built for relationships, even if everything in clem wants.
but nathan pulled away and maybe he'll circle around to her, maybe he won't. it's hard to call. but tony puts her neatly manicured finger on the heart of that, on the question clem doesn't want to ask. and instead of look at tony her eyes find nathan and the fake, fake smile he wears when he wants to charm people and drains the last of the whiskey from her glass. ]
Another.
[ she doesn't throw it on the ground, but it's a near thing. thor gets away with it, why can't she? ]
I HATE YOU SO MUCH (no i don't come baccckkkk)
But you could be. [ 'Could' is a peculiar turn of phrase but it's the way Tony says it, laced with the possibility that everyone sees but none of them acts on. (Tony Stark likes making people uncomfortable, doesn't see a problem with it: she likes it even better when it doesn't work. Clem, well — maybe being brainwashed gives you a temporary pass.)
Then a beat later and she laughs, head tilted back. ] Or does he not like girls?
NEVER COMES BACK no i totally do
What is this, girl talk?
[ her voice is the kind of flat that's more tired than anything else. tired of watching nathan romanoff and feeling an ache under her skin. tired of being here in a dress that makes her feel bound up, stifled. tired of the bobby pins holding her hair up and stabbing her scalp. what she wants is to slide up alongside nathan and say, let's get out of here, but it doesn't feel right.
maybe it will in time, but right now it does, so she's left with tony fucking stark at the bar. what a night. ]
I'm not the type for girl talk, Stark. Didn't you pick that up?
I JUST CAN'T QUIT YOU!!!
[ But it's careless — why shouldn't it be? Sure, she's got blueprints for floors and an interesting idea fizzing through her veins when it comes to the word team, but she knows Barton less and next to nothing about Nathan, even with his short stint at her side.
Tony finally glances up from Clem to the crowd, glancing over girls in red and a spy and their illustrious captain. ]
Loki fucked you up, huh?
[ And who knows where she's going with this. ]
I WOULDN'T LET YOU TRY
Love's for children. [ nathan's words in clem's mouth. they don't fit. they don't sound right. clem knows how limited she is, but clem's the sort for big, sweeping loves, the kind of love that destroys worlds. she's so human it's painful at times.
it's inconvenient as fuck in this situation.
but that falls by the wayside because then tony-- ]
You want a medal for that observation?
[ it's not something she admits, but it's the truth. clem's broken somewhere deep down but she's so furious for tony dragging it up. the arch of her eyebrow says, get to the point. ]
no subject
Love's for children. Sounds like bullshit, but Tony can get the appeal. There's nothing fully human about Nathan Romanoff, anyway, and Tony's not even going to bother pretending to understand any of— that. S.H.I.E.L.D makes her antsy in more ways than one. ]
He doesn't make things easy, huh, [ she says, because hell if she's going to leave something like that alone. She can recognize when something is parroted — she's done enough lying out of her own mouth, other people's words on her tongue. ]
—You want to get out of here?
no subject
Fuck it.
[ self-destructive, impulsive behavior, that's what coulson would call it, but coulson's dead and she won't be calling anyone anything anymore. so clem downs the last of the whiskey in one gulp. ]
Sure.